Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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