so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
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I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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