i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
