The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
