They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize