just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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