I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
