Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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