I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
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Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
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Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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