I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Send help, water and tortillas.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
