I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
