Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you will always have a special place in my vag
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
