Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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