I think i sorta joined a cult last night
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
