ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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