is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I woke up under a house in Key West
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