That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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