Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
