i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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