I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw