Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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(715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l

Replies (28) Good night (1047) Bad night (3794) Order T-Shirt
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(352): View more from Florida

she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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(352): she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property. http://tfl.nu/vsw9

Replies (25) Good night (2062) Bad night (5536) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.

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(214): Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me. http://tfl.nu/otui

Replies (12) Good night (2514) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.

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(832): Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella. http://tfl.nu/o5ml

Replies (14) Good night (5234) Bad night (2428) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

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(716): It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead. http://tfl.nu/ixsn

Replies (3) Good night (2422) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.

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(440): I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body. http://tfl.nu/6n6i

Replies (4) Good night (1944) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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(801): View more from Utah

Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.

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(801): Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess. http://tfl.nu/8hwd

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won

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(570): not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won http://tfl.nu/hlfr

Replies (2) Good night (1679) Bad night (570)
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(425): View more from Washington

Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.

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(425): Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible. http://tfl.nu/qw88

Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned

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(210): He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned http://tfl.nu/rsut

Replies (13) Good night (1659) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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(281): View more from Texas

Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

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(281): Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again? http://tfl.nu/lpz3

Replies (7) Good night (1472) Bad night (327) Order T-Shirt
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(765): View more from Indiana

That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.

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(765): That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk. http://tfl.nu/c4df

Replies (2) Good night (428) Bad night (1428) Order T-Shirt
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(519): View more from Ontario

And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.

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(519): And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication. http://tfl.nu/rgq1

Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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(816): View more from Missouri

They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.

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(816): They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/cb9a

Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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(775): View more from Nevada

At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment

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(775): At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment http://tfl.nu/1isz

Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt

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