I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.