All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
