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So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It's Friday. Sex?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
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