is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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