On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
