Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
