Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
