No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have grass duct taped all over my body
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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