what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You made out with two different species that night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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