Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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