I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
