That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize