not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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