"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
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He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
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I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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