Me. At least after what I've been through.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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