"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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