So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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