I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
worst night to have a conscience
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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