Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
