There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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