Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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