yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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