i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
