hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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