my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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