Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
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I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me