I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize