See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.