Define "chronic" masturbator.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating