I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
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Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...