i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i think my cat just said my name.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
