When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
