The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize