mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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