I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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