There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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