My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
