She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize