My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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