all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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